When We Were Boys: Get the word out

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Get the word out

I've heard from another classmate from the 7th grade and appreciate her words of support. It is terrific to hear from friends from so long ago. In my mind's eye, I see the kids we were and at the same time know that 40+ years have flowed under the bridge, taking us to parenthood, perhaps grand-parenthood.

So, here we are telling a 40+ year old story. Why go back so far?

This is really the last step in my healing and recovery. While it's had a huge impact on my life, I have been fortunate enough to avoid hugely self destructive inclinations, have had great support and, best of all, dwell in a great marriage and have two remarkable daughters. But walking away, healed, without finding the others doesn't feel right. It would forever be a huge loose end. Hence this effort.

Please circulate this link around. Push it to people who might know something of RND's employment history and travels. If you suspect someone was a victim, let them know about this page. Have them get in touch with me.

Let's see if we can find more of the others, perhaps get them some help and let RND understand that, even after decades of time, we are not the only ones to pay a price.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: Dear George:

I’m impressed with your commitment to helping other people abused by Neville Davis. Surviving abuse is hard enough – to want to help other people means you are a true mensch.

From your blog, I can see how effective you were when you spoke with the Park School. It clearly allowed them to see the wisdom of working with you.

I hope your site will help people realize that surviving sexual abuse is like surviving cancer. I think a generation ago, people were ashamed to admit that they had it but now, with better understanding of what it is, people are able to talk about it, call on support from their friends and share their experiences about what helped them survive.

Likewise, I think that sexual abuse will be detected and treated more quickly because of people like you who are willing to address it. And secondly, because of people like you, more people will survive it.

I’m proud to have my name associated with yours.

All my best,

Daniel Weinreb; December 28, 2008 at 9:01 AM
phoebe said...: Dear George,

I remain heartsick for you, John and David, and, as I'm sure you are right, the many others. Needless to say, memories of our 7th grade together came flooding back. Blessed or cursed, I have an excellent long term memory, and that entire 7th grade year is as vivid for me today as if it were yesterday. Now that I know what I know from your extraordinarily courageous and selfless act, all the pieces fall into place.

I left Park after our 7th grade year in '66, but I saw Neville off and on until the summer of '73. At that time he was living in Dedham, and as far as I know had remained in MA, but I cannot be 100% sure. In the fall of '73, I moved to Chicago and never saw or heard from Neville again.

It is very hard for me to write this to you, but in the spirit of honesty and true understanding, Neville was never anything but kind toward me. He had plenty of opportunity, but it never happened. I think we all know why.

We shared a love of photography and that is what kept us in touch.

I have thought of almost nothing else since receiving Jerry Katz's letter. I am deeply, deeply sorry. I have been racking my brain for specifics that might help the police and you. I will continue to do that, and i will help in any way I can.

All my best,

Phoebe Dean Perry; December 28, 2008 at 2:30 PM
Anonymous said...: George, I wish I could shed light on Davis whereabouts and it is my profound hope he left Massachusetts in time to stop the statute of limitations clock so he can be prosecuted.

Beyond that, you have my highest admiration not only for your humanitarian efforts toward finding and helping to heal other victims but also for what I can plainly see is a determined effort to ensure justice.

I know you and your family as good friends. I'm proud to know you.; January 3, 2009 at 2:22 AM

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What Happened

This is George Peabody. For two years during the mid Sixties, I was sexually abused by an English teacher at Park School in Brookline, Massachusetts. His name is Richard Neville Davis. What happened to me was the most difficult and damaging event in my life. It lasted for over two years. Its impact has echoed on for over forty more. At last, mostly healed, it’s time to tell the story.

I do so for two reasons. First, to make sure no others are in harm’s way today and, as important, to help those others who were abused by RND find peace and healing of their own.

In 1996, I reached a crisis point of depression. Knowing part of the cause was the abuse, I started to tell the story to family and friends. One of these was my childhood friend John Howland (we met when we were three!). John, to my utter astonishment, told me the same thing had happened to him. Here I was, thinking I’d been the only one, and John tells me that he, too, had been abused by RND.

In 2002 or so, at a Park School reunion, David Merrill, another long-time classmate at Park School, approached me and told me that we had RND in common. From a class of perhaps 15 boys, RND had abused three of us!

I was blessed to work with a remarkable therapist from 2003 to 2006. At last, I felt healed, no longer fundamentally broken. And have, since then, felt compelled to do something, to not simply walk away from all the work. To tell the story perhaps to give a purpose to the pain and hard work. But still I did nothing about it. While never completely out of my mind, life gets busy.

But earlier this year, David Merrill sent me the link to Daniel Weinreb’s Opening BBN Minds. The three of us met last summer, had breakfast in Watertown and then walked in Cambridge’s Mt. Auburn Cemetary to tell our stories. Daniel had bravely confronted Buckingham Brown & Nichols over its handling of the Washburn affair. His effort met with resistance until this fall when, after over a year of telling his story and gathering community support, the BB&N administration turned around handsomely.

And that was inspiration enough for me to finally move. I contacted Jerry Katz, headmaster at Park School, a week later. He committed to communicating our story to alumni/ae from that era and to his school community. He also put me in touch with the Brookline Police Department and Sergeant Detective Bill Riley with whom I met a couple of weeks later.

Where We Are Now

Detectives have met with RND. They are satisfied that children are not in his way. The Brookline Police are trying to establish if the statute of limitations has expired or not. Given that it was just six years in those days (I didn’t tell anyone for five years!), it is a long shot but one I expect the police to pursue. I pursue an action simply as a means to find the others who RND abused. There were three of us at Park. I saw him with two other boys from other schools. I know there are many more than five of us.

What We Want

To find the others.

To let them know they are no longer alone.

To help them, as we can, find support.

To see that justice is done.